Hanging out in my dad’s garage recently, alone for a few moments, I was reminded of our goal: making it more accessible. Not just for me—with my wheelchairs, walkers, canes, and general wobbliness—but for him, too, should he ever actually get the knee surgery he keeps talking about.

In the midst of organizing, I discovered a box of art supplies, notebooks, sketchbooks, and long-lost treasures from years ago. There were college notebooks and leftover supplies from classes, a sketchbook or two, unfinished jewelry pieces in brass, copper, and silver, and a scrap of Australian cypress I once used to build my favorite table, which has since disappeared. The most precious finds were some cut opals and turquoise stones of Grandpa’s and Nanny’s—stones I thought I had lost.

Reviewing my college notebooks was both humorous and thought-provoking, maybe even re-educational. I’m sure I could learn more if I spent more time, but I really respected how I used to take notes—so detailed, so clean and neat, with doodles that kept things fun. I wish I still had the stamina and strength to capture that much detail daily. Imagine the memories I could have revisited.

I made a post with some of these pages on my 4am Art site, here. Because I want to think about how I explore and where I explore the various parts of me, I wanted to come here to evaluate some further thoughts and do more of a “journal” entry about them.

As I think about all my notebooks and journals over the years, it’s almost as if they contain the seeds. While, who I am, has grown from them. It’s just a taste, not the whole picture. Much like a bonsai tree cultivated over years, my understanding and experiences are pruned, shaped, and reshaped over time. Who I am does not happen overnight, a tree does not grow in a day, continent does not move in miles per hour, when we think of a metaphor, we need to also consider what part of the metaphor we resonate with in the moment. And how it changes over time as well.

Like a bonsai tree, perhaps started from seed, my ideas grow and shift over the years as I revisit them. I notice how some have changed, while others remain the same. And I still wonder how much of this is shaped by the environment and the world around them.

Every day brings its own adaptation, and with that, I’ve come to see that change isn’t hard—it’s one of the most beautiful things life offers.